A Father's Love

As many of you know, I work with children with disabilities and special needs. I could not ask for a more rewarding job, and my current position has been such a blessing. Unfortunately, one of my former patients passed away last weekend. She was 8 years old, and had many medical complications. Despite this, she was a bright and happy girl, and everyone enjoyed her. Her father wrote us this letter, which I think is a touching and beautiful story from a father and a compelling testament to a family's faith. The names have been changed due to medical privacy, but the message is clear, even if you don't know the specifics.

It’s with a heavy heart that we are writing to tell you that Emma went home to be with the Lord this morning, between 6 and 7am on Sunday.

It is a great mercy of God that Emma went peacefully in her sleep, at home in her bed and her familiar surroundings. No life-support machines. No IVs. No pain or distress as far as we could tell. She was getting over a mild cold and had seemed to be doing better. There were no indications whatsoever that this was coming.

Yesterday, she was up early with her cough – about 6am. Judy got up with her and gave her a nice, warm shower because she had spit up a little bit in the night.

Later on Saturday morning, Judy stayed home with her while I took the other 3 kids to Judy’s parents’ house to get some firewood. While I was gone with the other kids, she and Judy hung out on the couch, watching videos and spending some good time together, since Emma was still getting over her cold and needed to rest. Emma took a nap in the middle of the morning, which was no surprise since she had been up so early.

Emma spent the day at home, listening to her favorite music, watching Veggie Tales and Wonder Pets DVDs and talking on her Dynavox. Yesterday evening, Judy and I worked together to make Emma’s favorite dinner – homemade pizza. We pureed a slice for her. I spoon fed it to her and she ate really well.

We did our usual bedtime routine. We sat around Emma’s bed, as we always do. I read a Dora book that Allison had picked out. As always, I embellished the words that were written in the book. Emma always knew when I embellished the words, and she would smile. On this particular night, I really wanted to see her smile since she hadn’t been smiling as much lately with her cold.

After the Dora book, we spent a few minutes working on our memory verse. It was Psalm 16:11 – “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Then we sang a song together that repeats these words 3 times:

Jesus is the Rock of my salvation

His banner over me is love

The kids really got into the motions, and Emma was happier than she had been all day as she watched them. It was obvious that her cold was much better.

Then we had prayer time. John prayed and thanked God that we had so much fun at Gramma and Grampa’s. Allison also thanked God for our time at Gramma and Grampa’s. Then I closed in prayer and asked for a good night’s sleep for everyone. I tucked everyone in their beds.

My last words to Emma at bedtime have been a solemn time for me for quite a while now. About a year ago, I resolved to treat it like the last time I would ever look into her eyes. My routine is to hold both of her hands in mine, bend over very close to her face and whisper Numbers 6:24-26 in her ear:

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

She always looks into my eyes and smiles, her eyes sparkling. Then I kiss her on the forehead and stroke her hair. Then I tell her I love her, and that she is precious, about two more times between turning out her light and closing the bedroom door behind me.

I can’t tell you how thankful I am that last night was no exception to that routine. Thank you, Lord, for this last moment you gave me to usher Emma into eternity with a pronouncement of God’s blessing. I would not have wanted our earthly goodbye to be any other way.

Judy made 2 more visits to Emma’s room between 8:30 and 11pm to give her some cold medications through her feeding tube and check on her. On both occasions, Emma stirred when Judy entered the room, which was typical. Judy stroked her hair until she drifted back to sleep. The last time we saw her alive was this visit from Judy at 11pm while she was sleeping comfortably.

I love Lord’s Day mornings. I’ve always thought it would be a precious thing to enter eternity early on a Lord’s Day morning. I can’t help but think that Psalm 16:11 may have still been fresh in her memory as she stepped into “fullness of joy” in the presence of her God.

Emma was such a rare and precious gift to us, and to everyone who knew her. She endured the pain of several lifetimes in eight short years. From 3 days old, she was in an all-out fight for her life. We have seen her at death’s door many, many times. And we have seen her elated and brimming with life many, many more times.

Emma leaves a legacy of the glory of God in her wake. Few met her, probably, who did not stop to consider what mattered most. She was an ever-present reminder that “we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies (Romans 8:23).”

We are stunned at her sudden departure. I think we all expected a long, difficult battle in the hospital. While we miss her terribly and are still trying to wrap our heads around the fact that she is gone, we smile to think of her running, dancing, and singing, free of the broken body she lived in here. Our lives will be very different now, but we pray that we will never forget the lessons she taught us.

Emma was an ever-present reminder that we have an unwavering Lover of our souls. And He is a tender Rock, the rock of my salvation, whose banner over me is love.